geardrops [blog]

Due to the economic wangst, I am now without job. Totally not stressed, though. Which is nice. Now I have time to work out and spin fire staff and just have fun. So I’ll be spending the next two weeks at ComicCon and watching disturbing volumes of TV before I embark on the journey to find work once more.

Anyone got any good ideas for a job that’ll pay for my MSCE and give me time and sanity enough to be a writer?

I feel like I should blog more, but trust me, my life is largely uninteresting.

Greece, however, was interesting. Once I have some photographs I’ll be likely to share those. Until then, however, content yourself with the concept of Meteora.

Thousands upon thousands of years ago, when the earth was young, the lands of present-day Greece were covered in water, which later receded (clearly). Those waters eroded the land in Meteora, leaving behind these steep cliffs of smoothly-polished rock. The cliffs alone are a sight to behold. I’m not one for staring at nature, but this is some pretty awesome nature.

Then, in the 1300’s, hermit monks built the first of the monasteries of Meteora.

During the Turkish occupation of Greece, these monasteries played a role in maintaining the culture of Greece and the Greek Orthodox faith. Inaccessible unless you were quite determined, they made a great refuge for the sons who were sent there to be kept away from the Turks. Thus, high among the clouds, they kept the culture alive.

How’s that for a fantasy setting?

Finally getting back on the Music Monday thing. This week it’s Janelle Monae who I would best describe as Andre 3000 meets Jackson Five meets Lady GaGa. Fierce lyrics, incredible vocalist and dancer, visually unique, and totally awesome.

So I’ve been offline for about two weeks now. This is due to the fact that I received a “suggestion” from the higher-ups that I delay my two-week vacation to Greece, due to our scheduling problems. Well, I put my vacation on the calendar in January, so I offered my own “suggestion,” that perhaps these were not our problems, but perhaps their problems, which is most certainly not my problem. This has resulted in my working very, very hard.

Life has been frantic-busy lately. Last weekend I was in NYC for a friend-of-Boy’s wedding, which resulted in my walking around Harlem at one in the morning in four-inch stilettos, none of which I recommend. (Maybe that’s a little strong. The stilettos were Guess, and rather comfortable, though they certainly slowed my roll.) All of which was excellent timing on my part due to simultaneous Mad Crazy Head Cold and the incoming Posturemoll visit, wherein she was rolling through San Jose in a janky cab playing eyebrow-raising music, right about when I was walking down 127th. (These scheduling problems totally belonged to me. Couldn’t shirk that one off on someone else, not without lies, trickery, and a Jedi mind trick or two.)

Then there was MUSE on Wednesday. My sixth time seeing them live. Some say I have a problem. I tell them No, Sir, I Have A Solution.

The Mad Tea Party is tomorrow. I have plotted three cupcake varieties. Last night I constructed a hat. Photos to come.

And as for the novel, I’m on draft four of editing. Let me tell you, I love writing, I hate rewriting. And that’s what the last 25% of the book required. But it’s currently a lean mean 80K and likely to stay that way. I do hope there’s a market for science fiction that isn’t about science, with a strong socio-political thread and male main character who likes to swear a lot. (No, a lot.)

The lovely Miss Rose Lemberg has had announced a sale at Strange Horizons (which for those unawares is really epic and awesome and I love this market).

Also, Christie Yant has made a pro sale! I cannae say the market, because it is a sekrit at the moment, but let it be known that it is Truly Legitimately Awesome.

And last but biggest is that Wendy Wagner has gone and sold a novel! When I see her, I’m going to throw glitter square in her face.

Until recently, I bought bread from a store. Now I bake it. And trust me, it’s super-easy. But I managed to screw up the recipe a few times before I finally got it right. If the recipe had only told me specific tricks, I would have ended up with good bread the first time around.

So I’m compiling those tricks into the Absolute Noob Guide To Baking Bread. For you. (Though perhaps I should also subtitle it “Engineer Edition” because I do explain the science of bread.)

Note this is obviously a plain white loaf. I haven’t made anything fancy yet. The plan is to make a nice heavy rye at some point (because I’m Polish, and we loves our rye). It’s also not gluten-free, and I bake at a low altitude.

Materials

• Measuring cups
• Measuring spoons
• Mixing bowl
• Mixing spoon
• Bread pan
• Cooking spray
• Rolling pin (I’ve used a wine bottle in a pinch)
• Timer
• Oven

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup whole milk (regular, not lactose-free)
• 1 1/2 tbsp sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 1/2 tbsp butter, melted
• 1 package active dry yeast
• 3 cups flour (get bread flour, which has a high gluten content, and gives the bread structural integrity)

Instructions

1. Pour hot water into your mixing bowl, to warm it up.

   Science: You see, yeast is an organism, and it does so love specifically-temperatured environments. Body temperature, to be precise. Too cold and it won’t be active, too hot and you will kill it. I’ve found pouring the hot water from the tap into my metal bowl is sufficient.

2. In your now-warmed bowl, mix the yeast with some warm water. Stir until there are no lumps, then wait a minute or two. You should see bubbles.

   Science: Here you need to be a little more cautious with the water. I’ve found going above 120F/50C will make your yeast sad-pants. Below 95F/35C and you won’t get active yeast. Use a thermometer to check. I recommend a candy thermometer, as it’s also useful for making jam, and if you’re going to make your own bread, don’t you want to slather it with your own jam?

3. Pour the following ingredients into the bowl: butter, milk, sugar, salt. Mix.
4. Pour flour into your bowl, 1/2c at a time, stirring at every interval.

   Notes: If, after every 1/2c interval, your dough is too dry, add some water. Sparingly (a little goes a long way). If the dough is too sticky, more flour. This isn’t something I can explain well. It should “feel” right. The lack of accuracy makes this segment a note and not science. Also it lacks science.

5. Set the timer for ten minutes, and knead your dough on a floured surface until those ten minutes are up.

   Science: So what’s going on here is, you’re spreading out the yeast, and various sugars evenly throughout the dough. This will ensure even rising of the dough.

6. Set the timer for one hour. Place your dough in a bowl, lining the bowl with either cooking spray or cornstarch if that’s your fancy, so the dough doesn’t stick to it (but it’s not a crime if it does). Perhaps cover your bowl with a dish towel to keep gross bits from landing on it. At the end it should have risen somewhat. (If it didn’t, your yeast is dead, so don’t bother continuing.)

   Science: Ensure that, as before, you do not place this anywhere that is too warm or too cold. I have found, however, that room temperature (I keep my place at an even 70F/20C, and this has proven to be just fine and dandy).

7. Heat your oven to 400F/200C.

   Note: Give yourself enough time so this is done by the time you are ready to place the dough in the oven. You really don’t want to have your ready-to-go dough sitting for ages while your oven heats.

8. Set the timer for ten minutes and knead the dough once more.

   Science: During the rising periods, yeast is eating all that sugar (hence my being specific about not using lactose-free milk; lactose is milk sugar, and necessary for this recipe) and converting it into air (not unlike the human body with beans). This is why we did all that kneading, to spread out these yeast cells (which reproduced during the first rising period, hence the need for two separate rounds of kneading).

9. Roll the dough flat, approximately the width of your bread pan (not larger than, though). Roll your dough up like you’d roll up a newspaper, but really super-tight. Spray the inside of your baking pan with cooking spray and place your dough in, seam-side down.
10. Set the timer for one hour. Let your dough rise again. Within the hour it should double in size.

    Note: It is better to let your dough continue to rise past the one-hour mark than to put it in the oven when it hasn’t risen. However, if you find yourself waiting another hour, your yeast is dead.

11. Bake for 30m.
12. Pop out of the pan and let cool completely before cutting.

    Note: Is your bread really crumbly? This is because you used low-gluten or gluten-free flour. . For gluten-free bread, I suggest you do a Google search, as this recipe will certainly not work with gluten-free flour.

That’s really all there is to it. The first bit takes about a half hour, so this is a great activity to nest in with doing laundry or cleaning your home or catching up on your favorite anime. I like to have this going while writing, personally.

Next bread-making endeavor will be rye. Once I get that recipe to a point where I’m making bread I like, I’ll post it. But I’ve used the above recipe, with extra tips, twice, successfully. If you ever find any problems in bread-baking, I recommend the bread troubleshooting table. It’s money.

The following email exchange between myself and my professor, concerning requirements for the cryptography class, is 100% accurate in its quotations.

From: me
To: Professor

Hello Professor –

I was your student last year in [class]. In my upcoming coursework I plan on taking Cryptography, and when I looked at the previous offering, I saw that you were teaching it. I was hoping to ask for your help.

I’m still a bit weak in math, as I haven’t really done much since undergrad, and struggled in your previous class with all the probability. I’m also struggling with the math in one of my current classes (Data Mining and Pattern Recognition). To prevent further struggle, I was wondering if perhaps you could tell me what kind of math I should brush up on, in order to be sufficiently prepared for Crypto?

Thanks very much!

From: Professor
To: me

Hello

As AMTH 387 Cryptology is a 300-level mathematics class, a certain level of mathematics appreciation is required, but not necessary. [emphasis mine]

A basic course in discrete mathematics or number theory should be helpful, but again it is not necessary.

Regards.

From: me
To: Professor

Hi Professor –

Thanks for your reply! So there will be no use of statistics in this class?

From: Professor
To: me

In my opinion, one of the following two requirements would suffice.

1. A likeness for things mathematical (preferable).

2. Do not dislike mathematics (less preferable alternative).

Best Regards.

In summary, my professor is THE FUCKING RIDDLER.

Pendulum - Propane Nightmares (official site)

Pendulum is some hot and long-standing music. Originally drum-and-bass (shit like this - give it until 1:37, there’s a build here) they now do more electro-clash-muddled-with-rock-and-hey-doesn’t-he-kind-of-sound-like-that-dude-from-the-offspring-esque stuff (the above-linked Propane Nightmares), both of which I like.

I’ve been bad and not paying attention, and while my back was turned, my friends did awesome things!

First of all, there’s Sharon Mock’s beautiful story The Armature of Flight up at Fantasy. I won’t ruin it for you, except to say that really, beautiful is the only word I can think to describe it. It’s carefully rendered and subtly tragic. Love it.

And then there’s Shweta Narayan who is always busy with something. Her story, The Mechanical Aviary of Emperor Jalal-ud-din Muhammad Akbar, is first available through Shimmer’s Clockwork Jungle edition. And now, it’s going to be reprinted in the Steampunk Reloaded Anthology as edited by the ever-stupendous VanderMeers, Ann and Jeff. (Ann, for those unaware, is EIC of Weird Tales, and is overflowing with passion about writers developing their craft. I’ve mentioned Jeff before, but to recap: he’s an odd one. They did the previous Steampunk Anthology which was, I feel, a good representation of what Steampunk is for beginners, and was in need of a companion, which I’m glad to hear is coming out.) And all of her publication madness means she’s eligible for a Campbell. If you have the ability to nominate her, and appreciate her fiction (first taste is free… — also note that this is another story getting itself into an anthology!), please do so.

Whew. Gotta toddle off and see what else I’ve missed.

ETA: I have also been informed by Monsieur Kaolin (of the awesome GUD Magazine) that indeed a second taste of Shweta’s fiction is free. Which paints me as a dirty, filthy liar. I won’t deny it.

LCD Soundsystem: official site, rad song on youtube

Musics from Britain that apparently does quite well for itself, and has been doing so since 2002. Mixing in parts punk and electro with an unobtrusive dash of disco, just enough to give it flavor, does not overwhelm. I say give ‘em a listen.