geardrops [blog]

Until recently, I bought bread from a store. Now I bake it. And trust me, it’s super-easy. But I managed to screw up the recipe a few times before I finally got it right. If the recipe had only told me specific tricks, I would have ended up with good bread the first time around.

So I’m compiling those tricks into the Absolute Noob Guide To Baking Bread. For you. (Though perhaps I should also subtitle it “Engineer Edition” because I do explain the science of bread.)

Note this is obviously a plain white loaf. I haven’t made anything fancy yet. The plan is to make a nice heavy rye at some point (because I’m Polish, and we loves our rye). It’s also not gluten-free, and I bake at a low altitude.

Materials

• Measuring cups
• Measuring spoons
• Mixing bowl
• Mixing spoon
• Bread pan
• Cooking spray
• Rolling pin (I’ve used a wine bottle in a pinch)
• Timer
• Oven

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup whole milk (regular, not lactose-free)
• 1 1/2 tbsp sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 1/2 tbsp butter, melted
• 1 package active dry yeast
• 3 cups flour (get bread flour, which has a high gluten content, and gives the bread structural integrity)

Instructions

1. Pour hot water into your mixing bowl, to warm it up.

   Science: You see, yeast is an organism, and it does so love specifically-temperatured environments. Body temperature, to be precise. Too cold and it won’t be active, too hot and you will kill it. I’ve found pouring the hot water from the tap into my metal bowl is sufficient.

2. In your now-warmed bowl, mix the yeast with some warm water. Stir until there are no lumps, then wait a minute or two. You should see bubbles.

   Science: Here you need to be a little more cautious with the water. I’ve found going above 120F/50C will make your yeast sad-pants. Below 95F/35C and you won’t get active yeast. Use a thermometer to check. I recommend a candy thermometer, as it’s also useful for making jam, and if you’re going to make your own bread, don’t you want to slather it with your own jam?

3. Pour the following ingredients into the bowl: butter, milk, sugar, salt. Mix.
4. Pour flour into your bowl, 1/2c at a time, stirring at every interval.

   Notes: If, after every 1/2c interval, your dough is too dry, add some water. Sparingly (a little goes a long way). If the dough is too sticky, more flour. This isn’t something I can explain well. It should “feel” right. The lack of accuracy makes this segment a note and not science. Also it lacks science.

5. Set the timer for ten minutes, and knead your dough on a floured surface until those ten minutes are up.

   Science: So what’s going on here is, you’re spreading out the yeast, and various sugars evenly throughout the dough. This will ensure even rising of the dough.

6. Set the timer for one hour. Place your dough in a bowl, lining the bowl with either cooking spray or cornstarch if that’s your fancy, so the dough doesn’t stick to it (but it’s not a crime if it does). Perhaps cover your bowl with a dish towel to keep gross bits from landing on it. At the end it should have risen somewhat. (If it didn’t, your yeast is dead, so don’t bother continuing.)

   Science: Ensure that, as before, you do not place this anywhere that is too warm or too cold. I have found, however, that room temperature (I keep my place at an even 70F/20C, and this has proven to be just fine and dandy).

7. Heat your oven to 400F/200C.

   Note: Give yourself enough time so this is done by the time you are ready to place the dough in the oven. You really don’t want to have your ready-to-go dough sitting for ages while your oven heats.

8. Set the timer for ten minutes and knead the dough once more.

   Science: During the rising periods, yeast is eating all that sugar (hence my being specific about not using lactose-free milk; lactose is milk sugar, and necessary for this recipe) and converting it into air (not unlike the human body with beans). This is why we did all that kneading, to spread out these yeast cells (which reproduced during the first rising period, hence the need for two separate rounds of kneading).

9. Roll the dough flat, approximately the width of your bread pan (not larger than, though). Roll your dough up like you’d roll up a newspaper, but really super-tight. Spray the inside of your baking pan with cooking spray and place your dough in, seam-side down.
10. Set the timer for one hour. Let your dough rise again. Within the hour it should double in size.

    Note: It is better to let your dough continue to rise past the one-hour mark than to put it in the oven when it hasn’t risen. However, if you find yourself waiting another hour, your yeast is dead.

11. Bake for 30m.
12. Pop out of the pan and let cool completely before cutting.

    Note: Is your bread really crumbly? This is because you used low-gluten or gluten-free flour. . For gluten-free bread, I suggest you do a Google search, as this recipe will certainly not work with gluten-free flour.

That’s really all there is to it. The first bit takes about a half hour, so this is a great activity to nest in with doing laundry or cleaning your home or catching up on your favorite anime. I like to have this going while writing, personally.

Next bread-making endeavor will be rye. Once I get that recipe to a point where I’m making bread I like, I’ll post it. But I’ve used the above recipe, with extra tips, twice, successfully. If you ever find any problems in bread-baking, I recommend the bread troubleshooting table. It’s money.

Blackberry Jam Cupcakes w/ Lemon Buttercream Frosting

Heat oven to 350F.

• 2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 12 tablespoons butter, softened
• 2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 2 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2/3 cup buttermilk
• 1 1/2 cups seedless blackberry jam

1. Dry Team: In small bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.
2. Wet Team: Whip butter till light and fluffy.
3. Wet Team: Gradually beat in sugar, keeping it light and fluffy.
4. Wet Team: Beat in eggs and vanilla.
5. Go Team Venture: Mix in flour mixture alternately with buttermilk. Blend in jam. (For funsies you can add the berries of this fruit in.)
6. Spoon into prepared muffin tins.
7. Bake about 20 minutes.
8. Let cool before frosting.

This recipe came out a bit carrot-cake-esque. I suspect it was the use of nutmeg and cinnamon. Next time I make this recipe, I will cut back on the cinnamon and cut the nutmeg entirely, see how that helps the flavor. Overall, the cake itself is very lightly flavored, so I recommend going easy on the lemon in your frosting.

Also, I made these as regular old muffins the next day, glazing the tops with a sugary lemon-juice mixture. Those went over really well.

Lemon Buttercream Frosting

• 2 sticks butter
• powdered sugar
• 1 lemon

1. Juice lemon into a cup. Be sure to remove all pulp and seeds.
2. Whip the butter.
3. Add sugar and lemon juice alternatingly until you have a good taste and texture.

Made this recipe up last night while digging through the fridge to use up frozen things. Worked out amazingly well.

Ingredients

• chicken
• barbecue sauce (I had a bottle of KC Masterpiece)
• honey
• flour
• bread crumbs

1. I had chicken breast in my freezer. We sliced it super-thin. You could probably also do this with bone-in thighs or legs though I suspect the cooking method might have to change a bit.
2. Heat up some oil in a frying pan.
3. Mix together equal parts honey and barbecue sauce. Adjust this to your liking, but I found this basically worked for me.
4. Coat chicken breast evenly with flour.
5. Coat floured chicken breast evenly with honey-barbecue mixture.
6. Now coat it evenly with breadcrumbs.
7. Fry the chicken until thoroughly cooked.

I made a bit more sauce afterwards to pour on top of the chicken. Worked out very tasty.

Note that these brownies came out a bit on the cakey side.

Chocolate CHIP Brownies

Heat oven to 375 F.

• 6 eggs, beaten
• 3 cups sugar
• 1 3/4 cups flour
• 1 cup butter, melted
• 7 tbsp cocoa
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking powder

1. Combine butter, cocoa, and sugar.
2. Add the eggs.
3. In a separate bowl, combine four, salt, and baking powder.
4. Mix the wet and dry ingredients.
5. Add vanilla extract.
6. Bake in greased 18×12 pan for 20 minutes.

Cream Cheese Frosting

• 1 8oz package cream cheese
• 1/2 stick butter
• 1 cup confectioner’s sugar

1. See those things? Mix them. Add the sugar to taste.
2. Actually, a tip is to whip the cream cheese and butter separately, then combine.

And the reason I call them Chocolate CHIP Brownies is because you use this frosting to decorate your brownies with little circuits. So they look like microchips. Get it? CHIP Brownies? I’m a clever bunny.

Note that I made these using strawberry jell-o, though the original intent was strawberry-kiwi. Alas, Lucky’s, you have failed me for the last time.

Strawberry-Kiwi Cupcakes with Watermelon Frosting

Heat oven to 350 F.

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 cup flour
• 1 package 3oz strawberry-kiwi Jell-o
• 1 3/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 egg whites
• 1 whole egg
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup milk

1. Mix the flour, Jell-o, and baking powder together.
2. Cream sugar and butter together.
3. Add vanilla.
4. Beat eggs, one at a time, alternating with the flour mixture.
5. Stir in milk slowly until batter is smooth.
6. Bake for 30-40 minutes.

Watermelon Frosting

• 1 package watermelon Jell-o
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2+ cups powdered sugar
• 1 8oz package of cream cheese

1. See those ingredients? Mix them. Add the watermelon Jell-o to taste.

Pineapple Upside-Down Cupcakes

Heat oven to 350 F.

• 1 cup flour
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/2 cup pineapple juice (or milk)
• 1 egg

1. Combine flour, sugar, and baking powder.
2. Mix in the butter and pineapple juice.
3. Beat in the egg.

The Fruit Topping

• 1 20oz can pineapple chunks
• 1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/3 cup unsalted butter
• Maraschino cherries

1. Melt the butter.
2. Mix the brown sugar in with the butter.
3. Pour a little butter-sugar mixture in the bottom of each (greased) cup in a muffin pan, just enough to cover.
4. In each cup, drop half a Maraschino cherry and a few chunks of pineapple.

1. Pour the batter into each cup, filling about halfway to three-quarters.
2. Bake in the center of the oven for 30 minutes or until done.
3. Let cool and flip.

These were a huge hit at a party of mine. Totally forgot to post the recipe.

Earl Grey Cupcakes

• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 1/4 tsp. baking powder
• 3/4 tsp. salt
• 1 tbsp. loose-leaf Earl Grey
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 2 egg
• 1/2 cup milk

1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Mix all dry ingredients in one bowl.
3. Whip the butter until light and fluffy. Add sugar slowly throughout and keep whipping.
4. Fold in each egg one at a time.
5. Beat in half of the dry mixture with the butter/sugar/egg.
6. Add milk and remaining dry mixture. Stir until just combined.
7. Bake 20 to 25 minutes.

Lemon Buttercream Frosting

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 3+ cups confectioner’s sugar (to taste)
• juice from one lemon (preferably Meyer if you have them)

1. Whip butter until fluffy.
2. Slowly add sugar and keep whipping the butter. Do this until it tastes/feels right.
3. Add in your lemon juice.
4. Feel free to add more sugar if you need.

When I made these I decorated them with little lavender flowers on top and some coarse crystal sugar. Very pretty, light, and spring/summery.

Yesterday I mentioned not having red food coloring due to my red velvet cupcakes, and I realized, well crap, I’ve not posted my red velvet cupcake recipe. I should fix that. I pinched the base of it from Paula Deen but obviously I modified it because her cooking will kill you.

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cocoa powder
• 2/3 cups vegetable oil
• 1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 tablespoon red food coloring
• 1 teaspoon white distilled vinegar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Heat the oven to 350F.
2. In one bowl, mix dry ingredients: flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, cocoa powder.
3. In another bowl, mix wet ingredients: oil, buttermilk, eggs, vinegar, vanilla, and once those are mixed, add the food coloring.
4. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together.
5. Bake for 20-25 minutes, turning pan once halfway through.
6. Let cool, frost, and eat.

Once again, frosting is obviously cream cheese. My recipe for this is a block of cream cheese, and you pour in confectioner’s sugar until you like what you see and taste.

I pinched this recipe from Martha Stewart, which is really from Sprinkles, but then I changed it, half from accidents, half from really liking strawberries.

• 2/3 cup whole fresh or frozen strawberries, thawed (I doubled this)
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup whole milk, room temperature
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 large egg, room temperature (I accidentally used 2 and it still came out great)
• 2 large egg whites, room temperature
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

These are my steps, I’ve modified the recipe a bit. I already noted above the doubling of strawberries. Can’t have too many! (And the second egg was an accident, but it didn’t mess up the end results.)

1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Puree half your strawberries, then slice the other half.
3. In one bowl, mix your dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, sugar, salt.
4. In another bowl, mix your wet ingredients: eggs, milk, vanilla.
5. Whip that butter. Nice and light and fluffy.
6. Drop a bit of the wet and a bit of the dry into the butter. Mix. Repeat until all ingredients are blended. Then add the strawberries and mix well.
7. And you know what? Add some red food coloring to make them pink. Seriously, these cakes come out weird in color without it. If I had red food coloring I would have done this (alas, I was out, red velvet is a demanding beast).
8. Bake for 20-25 minutes.
9. Let cool, frost, eat.

Oh, and for the cream cheese frosting, I just drop a block of it in a bowl and start sprinkling sugar in and whipping it with a spatula until it looks/tastes/feels like I like. No vanilla, no need for it if you ask me.

But really, the best modification I think was slicing up those strawberries. The batter tasted like straight sugar, no strawberry at all, and once they settled and cooled they got much better (in fact, they tasted better a few hours after baking them as opposed to freshly baked). Every bite you hit with a strawberry in it was the best.

I was looking up recipes for an idea for dinner today. I ran across a recipe for cabbage and sausage that sounded distinctly like bigos and was touted as a dish that Irish grandmothers make. I made the two meet and added a few things.

• Head of Cabbage, Shredded
• 1 Package Kielbasa, Chopped
• 1 Cup of Mushrooms, Sliced
• 1/2 Red Onion, Cut Into Inch-Long Strips
• Beer (Anchor Steam or Any Other Ale)
• Salt and Pepper, To Taste

1. Sautee mushrooms and onion in butter.
2. Put cabbage in pot with half of the beer. Cover and keep at medium heat, stirring occasionally.
3. Drink other half of beer.
4. Put mushrooms, onions, and meat into pot with cabbage. Add salt and pepper to taste.
5. Cover, maintain on medium heat and stir occasionally.

There is no way to cook it for too long. The more time it sets in the pot, the better it tastes. Just hold off from eating until the cabbage is soggy and brown. Goes well with cornbread.